I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
