that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
We smell like vodka and hangover
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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