i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
one might say we're banned from that church
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
