i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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