There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
