My girlfriend figured out who you are.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
