vagina is talking i cant
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize