You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
