well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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