5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
