she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
