My nipple is on Facebook.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
