google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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