My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize