well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize