I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I need moral support for this bender
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
