There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
