He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
