i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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