what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
