Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
