i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
