We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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