i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
