dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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