so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
