She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
