I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
