Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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