After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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