Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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