just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
