Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
wow bdsm is so cute
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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