therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
