so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
