Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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