I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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