if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize