dude i'm inner monologue high
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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