I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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