That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
