Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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