that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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