normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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