My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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