His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
