oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
