You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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