I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
