Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He passed out mid-signature
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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