pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
