When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
