I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
