I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
