PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
