So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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