did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
