WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i love accidental penises.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
This house was built for laser tag.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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