i think my tv is drunk
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
