Where did you get a picture of my penis
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
