you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
