During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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