waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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