True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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