Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
